My Girl Friend's Diet

When I was just a young man
I was fancy free
I never thought a could could make
a patsy out of me.

One day I met a pretty girl
though she was rather stout
She was looking for a date
that is why I took her out.

I though she would not cost me much
for she was on a diet
I took her to a resturant
to show I was not tight.

How was I supposed to know
that she was Klondike Kate?
She said she was not hungry
but this is what she ate.

Oyster stew and crackers too
a chicken and a roast.
Big coleslaw and lobster claws
and heaps of buttered toast.

Pudding -- duff and other stuff
I though she would never stop
I thought I would die when she ordered pie
with ice cream piled on top.

She said she would like a little drink
but she had an awful tank
She said she was not thirsty
but this is what she drank.

She said 'here is cheers' and downed six beers
and a bottle of Sherry wine.
I fell on the floor when she asked for more
and her eyes began to shine.

I was fit to kill when I got the bill
I jumped and hit the deck
It was no joke for I was broke
and I could not pay the check.

Tom Hoy

Lethbridge

More Later....
G